Saturday, June 6, 2009

this ain't a fairy tale...

I'm scared of so many things. And I don't know why I've been isolating myself so much, but today was a step in the right direction I think. I missed my friends..

I think I'm just scared of losing everything I have right now. And losing weight is a way to ensure I won't, or something. Anyway...I did okay today I guess...ate and didn't work out, but I feel accomplished and that's about all I can ask for. I know I need to eat, or it won't work, but it's hard sometimes. 39 more days to go...fifteen will be hard, but I think I can do it if I keep working out, only eat meals, and stop after 7:30. I think I would actually be happy there, sick of being disappointed with myself.

Missing him a lot..hoping things will be the same.